Hello beloved family! It has been ages since I have posted a blog here so I figured since I am suffering from a little bit of writers block (of the educational kind) I'd post some updates on my life. Most of you probably are aware of what is going on from random/strange tweets on facebook or twitter, but my life is so much more complex than that.
Lots of changes going on with Rite Aid, if anyone keeps up with financial shiz you'll see that we still are posting losses every quarter, but our stores are making lots of financial changes to cut out a lot the BS costs that come with running a business and so far most have been very beneficial and applauded throughout the company. However, the latest cost cutting initiative I am not very fond of. Stores that gross less than $1.25 million dollars per year have lost salaried assistant managers, store manager have been moved from salaried 50 hours per week to hourly 45 per week and a huge cut in payroll hours that can be used. I have never had an assistant manager so that change does not affect me any, however being placed on a strict 45 hour per week schedule has made things very very hard for me. It is impossible for me to get what I need to get done on a weekly basis in 45 hours and being pressured to do so has almost caused me to have a panic attack a couple weeks back. I lost about 30 hours of payroll with this cut and again, it makes it nearly impossible to get the things that need to get done around my store complete from week to week. I am finding myself falling farther and farther behind because I am constantly playing catch up. I am unsure how much longer I can do this. I applied for a corporate position last week, but no word on it yet so I'd imagine it is a no-go.
School is going really great. I finished my first term with a 4.0 and so far in my first class of the second term I have an 'A'...it's a business ethics course which is something I am very passionate about [ethics] and my instructor is constantly praising me for my non-conformist opinions on various subjects. This time next year I will be working on my last course and God willing I will have earned my Master's degree. Sometimes I get this eerie feeling that I won't live long enough to achieve certain goals (i.e marriage, children, degree, career and retirement) I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. It's like my subconcious knows my fate and it is foreshadowed by various events in my life. But I digress, once I get my degree I will be very glad to try and settle down and start my life.
As of recent I have given up on the hope that I will meet someone who will take my breath away. In the last year I have had 3 very short lived failed relationships which boggles my mind. I really do not understand why anyone would not be interested in me. I consider myself to be a total catch and have a lot of things going for me. I am good looking, I have a great sense of humour, I make a decent wage for a person my age, I am independent, I have great taste in all things art [cinema, television, music, literature, etc] and I have had an excellent upbringing from two of the best parents anyone could ask for. So I wonder, what is the problem here?? Perhaps it is my arrogance, because that is one thing I am not ashamed to flaunt. It is not my best quality, but it is just who I am. I oftentimes wonder if this is foreshadowing and I am alone because it is part of my fate. However, this past week I came to a realization that I have just lost the drive, motivation and desire to pursue a realtionship. I have a lot going on right now and I can't focus enough energy on a relationship and we all know that women are needy beings. Right now I can't dedicate enough of myself to another person to make them happy. Am I still suffering from the broken heart disease? Hard to say. I don't cry anymore. The last time I cried about her was after we met up in the park a few months back. It was probably the best/worst thing that has happened to me in the 1.5 years we have been seperated. It was definetly something I needed to help myself move on, but do I want to put myself in a situation where I will hurt like that ever again? I'll tell you right now that I am very cautious. I learned a lot about myself from that realtionship and I'd never do the things that hurt her to anyone ever again. I've grown a lot in the days, weeks and months since that relationship ended and a part of me wants to prove that to someone else who is willing to give me thier heart. In summation, I have given up looking and I'll just continue to live my life from day to day until fate throws something out there for me.
I hope that everyone enjoys themselves this weekend. I am saddened that I am unable to make it, but work is first and foremost in my life and it isn't easy for me to take off for more than a couple days without a considerable amount of notice. Another good idea would be to have something in Tennessee next time around. I'm sure it would be easier for my parents to have something in Tennesse as it would be easier for me, but there I ago again being selfish. Perhaps me and Christy can plan something since we both live in same part of the state. I don't know, just a thought because I am hoping to be moved away from this poor excuse for state within the next year and then who knows when you guys will see me again!
Speaking of vacations I am going on 3 vacations starting in July and ending the first weekend in August. First I am going to Tucson, Arizona July 17th through the 20th to visit my best friend. The trip is titled T5 which stands for Toby Terrorizes Tucson: Take Two (toby is a college nickname for those of you who did not know that, which is probably everyone) I went last year and had a blast! Then on July 30th through August 1st I am going to St. Louis to the Six Flags Amusement Park with my other best friend. His birthday is a week before mine so we always do something in between and call it 'our birthday' Super gay (as billy would say) but Super $ensible (as I retorted) His girlfriend is coming with so I am currently searching for someone to accompany me to St. Louis because there is nothing worse than being the third wheel at an amusement park. Although it is probably karma coming back for me since I used to always make fun of the person riding all alone. Finally, tenatively scheduled is a trip to Spring River, Arkansas for the weekend of my birthday. It is a little far off to actually plan, but it is what I want to do so we shall see. If all else fails a weekend at the casino is always good fun.
Well it is 2am and I probably should be going to sleep. I need to get up at a decent hour and finish up my ethics assignment for the week. I am partying it up for the 4th so it is critical that I get it complete before then because Sunday will be a waste of a day for me that's for sure. I hope you have enjoyed my ramblings and if you didn't then you probably didn't read this far anyway.
All my love,