Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I'm torn

My buddy Mike has some family property with a nice sized lake in Brownsville, Tenn (about 20 minutes north of my house) and this morning we packed up and went fishing. We have been talking about going up there for years, but the drive from Memphis from there always seemed too long so we never went, but now that I live only 20 minutes away it finally became a reality.

On the drive home I realized how much I love living in the country...I absolutely hate Memphis and would never dream of moving back to that city; 10 years of reverse racism and ignorance is enough to drive one mad!

Covington reminds me a lot of Columbia of yesteryear and some of the places around Covington remind me of Culleoka which I will always consider my home. It was where I was raised and learned about life; every single country song that talks about hometowns and the such remind me of Culleoka. Everytime I drive to my parents house I always have to take a drive out to Cully and drive around all the is so peaceful and brings back a lot of great memories growing up.

Anyway, my point is that I am torn with where I want to be. I want to get my masters degree and get myself a nice career going on, but that'll take me back to some city and no matter what anyone says nothing can compare to the feeling you get from rural, tennessee USA. I want to get married and raise a couple kids, but I don't wanna raise a family in any kind of city; I want my children to enjoy all the things I enjoyed growing up and those things are unknown in the city.

I crave peace and quiet, but I feel like I am destined for more and it tears my soul apart. I can't predict where I'll be 5 years from now and I can't predict where i'll be 6 months from now; I always take life one day at a time. I do know one thing and that is no matter what I'll always come back to the place I'll always call home.


  1. Hang in there son, you have a long road ahead. Remember the saying?, "Rome was not built in a day". Same goes for life in general. You have great idea's, and a good future, it will take for you to believe in yourself, and all else will follow, including blessing's. Let God lead you to a happy life...
    Loveya, Cesar

  2. thats actually the kinda cool thing about Gwinnett county GA (where i grew up), its kinda in between the city and the country. Its picture perfect suburbia...there is no place like it (good and bad), but it has that big enough to have a good job vibe, yet nothing like down town ATL. You should check it out sometime, maybe next time we go to GA to visit the fam.